VIVSRAVINE

I was opportuned to listen to a talk by a very prominent personality who was addressing a question directed at him in an open forum on any topic as asked. Part of his response to a question was "Don't blame yourself for falling in love with a wrong partner, you might have not gotten it right in the first place but you can do better by setting boundaries that allows no dishonesty. Disrespect and addictions" end of quote  This particular response got me thinking about what so many people are possibly undergoing in some toxic relationship, most people have so remained in their shells ,scared to speak up,so that they won't be faulted and judged by what society would always say ,rather they chose to keep quite and beat all the pains. Someone mentioned how she was badly treated in her relationship and all her mother in-law could come up to say is that she should apologize to the husband to keep her marriage,she wasn't even particular about solving the root cause of what...

Oftentimes,we set unimaginable boundaries in relationships which in last run hurts us and even those close to us. It's so sickening that most relationships is built on selfishness and what I can describe as personal gains. Imagine a marital relationship where one of the partner accuses the other of lying always and because of this he or she magnifys the act and hence holds the other at uptmost fault. Sadly,the same partner who accuses the other is also guilty of cheating but holds his other own sins in high esteem,it's so unacceptable that we now determine which sins is more grave than the other. The phrase which says no one is perfect is not specifically for a set of people, it is for everyone, I hope it sinks and helps us learn how to judge more fairly.. Relationship is about how you treat others ,it should be equal and given in the same feelings jthe measure you give is the same measure you receive ,no sidelining and no gaslighting. I have seen people who complain so much ab...

I have learnt that life doesn't doesn't always give you what you so want badly,you could work your way out and beyond yet it offers you the pains you never wished for. In relating with people no matter the type of relationship you keep with them,always learn to how to set boundaries and never drift from your purpose. Someone once said  and I quote "Anything you lose when you  standup for your self ,protect your boundaries and begin to grow ,was not meant to stay" so hard to accept but a reality that is so meant to stay Don't lose yourself trying to fix people who don't include you in their routines, don't go the mile for someone who doesn't care you exist, don't make sacrifices for people who don't know you also have feelings to protect and nurture. I have seen people lose their sanity their peace of mind and their worth because they got to give their all to people who subject them to nothing for selfish gains  Learn to always place yourself fi...

Leave while you can with your whole self. It's better to stay alive than to be dead in any given relationship. No one is tied to you in marriage, there is no marriage in heaven or hell, hold your mental health and state of mind in tact to know what next to do and take charge of your life. There are so many unbearable stories of toxic relationships, so unheard of, many a time the one you think is the key player in creating chaos in the relationship might just be the one holding the relationship. No one is absolutely tied to another, relationships must come and go, build and break, stay or divide, it's a given fact that must always happen as long as two people are involved, no relationship is made perfect, it's all full of flaws and faults but the commitment levels determines how far you both can go. No one has all what it takes to keep a relationship intact, none is perfect rather what plays out in most relationships is accepting each others flaws and striving to become bett...

  The only time we don't get to make any choice is when we are sleeping, because our brains are also kind of resting and we are not physically active to decide. But we are a product of our choices, whatsoever we chose to do is dependant on the choices we make. We can either chose a good choice or a bad choice, we either enjoy the gains it brings or suffer the consequences of our actions. Often times the worse decisions we made are linked with the choices we made most deliberately and we find it so difficult to retrieve them. It is better to take your time before making any decision that results in hard choices that might affect you later in future. The choice of friends you keep, the choice of partner you marry, the choice of lifestyle you live and the choice of parts you trail are one amongst the determining factor of how your life would turn out. I heard a married woman who complained so bitterly about her marriage and how she wished she was never married in the first...

  Marriage is not a cake or ice cream flavour shared everyday, it has lots of thrones on the roses to present to you both .  You both will have to walk it through every day and be ready to take whatever joys or challenges it brings too.  Each partner has a weakness to manage, you both are humans and not robots.  Marriage is a big leap, you either leap to pains or joy at any given time, yet you must accept it wholeheartedly to manage a sustainable relationship.  Overcome self, brush out selfishness and learn to communicate effectively, if on a scale of 1 to 5 what is your communication level?  Not knowing how to communicate and cope is a big factor in marriage, some partners assume the other is aware, some never speaks, other speaks but in manner not acceptable, while others just chose to act all alone.  Many spouse complains of their partners not providing, if as a man in marriage who has a job or business and you fail to provide for your f...

Some times ,I wonder why we do the things we do,even when we see the end product, citing from other people's experiences.  One would wonder why we indulge in certain unhealthy habits, knowing fully well that such habits won't buy us anything good but pain and vanity,yet we so indulge in them and endanger our lives and even the lives of innocent people around. Recently,I heard a story about a drunk driver who killed an only child of a couple who are very old and feeble,the resultant effect of such incident leaves the innocent in pains for the rest of their lives. Such pain would have been averted if and only if the driver had stopped drinking and driving or better still learnt to control his selfish desires,this singular act cost him a life long jail terms and took the life an only child. Stop taking hard drugs and inhaling bad substances,it's not good for your health, the advert is almost every where,they are advised daily and they have even seen people affected by such,yet...

The street showed us many faces of life, so many of us all have our stories and so many don't even have an idea of what street life is all about, they were so secured that' they barely know there is a life out there'. Street is a jungle, it's a warzone and it's a hard reality faced without no form of aid, you encounter all different types of people from the slums and with a mindset that is selfish and greedy,it's all about survival,they do whatever it takes to stay alive, even if it means hurting down. Oh ,the Street isn't smiling, it never smiles,it's a war zone for the fitest and it never spares any of its prey, it's all about self,greed and impatience,here you are always alert to hunt. These are where so many of us grew from,they have the mindset of their own and they never include anyone in their plans,they are self centered even in the midst of people surrounding them, they are always on the defence and are ready to execute their plans. The stre...

If they can't amount to anything to you, then you can't be of any value to them If they don't take responsibility for you then you add no good to them. If they pledge their loyalty elsewhere keep your asset within you. If they aren't accountable to you, don't even let them ever predict your next step. If they are secretive to you, then seal your mind and sell off your mouth.so they can't hear a word from you  Don't force yourself to those who don't even know you exist, depart from those who take your availability for granted. Value yourself enough to know when to set boundaries and keep your sanity top priority. People come and go  , attach yourself to those who impact your life and  share your joy with you ,they are those who deserve your best. Don't let religion make you go through what you won't ordinary take don't allow the voice of those who don't have an iota of what you have been through detect what you should do. When ...

"You don't become what you want , not even your greatest desires, you become what you believe " this quote was shared by Oprah Wilfrey on her 71st birthday. This quote brings to mind the realities of life ,it helps one recall that' whatever we so desire comes with a price called BELIEVE. It won't be out of place to say that even most people who inherit the good things of Life, might not even have strong desires of them to protect what they have and hence that's why some of them fall of the line when they have squandered the proceeds,it hardly lasts because they never believed in it. Let's take a look at some desperate people who go out of their way to swindle, manipulate and even kill to possess the things of Life ,they do this because they strongly believe that' they can achieve their aims. There is nothing good one can achieve without believing in themselves and  seeing the realities coming to play. Believe ,is the antidote for greater achievements,i...

 Life challenges can reduce one healthy, vibrate and lively fellow to become a pack of waste, often times we become what we never prayed for, nor even wished, because we can't explain how life issues subjected us to nothing. Who won't want a life filled with bliss, a life of glamour and happiness, but most of the time, the reverse is what we get, life is so strange that it doesn't give you the room to ask and it won't not explain to you either.  Every one you meet has a story to tell, some stories are so bad, while some other stories are just too good to be true, yet some can easily say that life was so unfair to them and a handful of people would rather remain silent and wallow in their space.  Whatever life gives to us, it's always adviced to "drain the ocean" of our lives, even to the very few we assume life is good to them would have a dark story to tell, I guess thats how life is wired, pain is part of life and no one can ever question it. How do I dr...

  I sat in my corner and watched, the thoughts raced in my mind like iI was on a challenge and I was in fixed to find solutions to my needs.  I tried to pretend like I was not aware of my mind wars, I decided to look distracted and forget the wars in my mind.  I paced in my mind, like a simple pendulum I needed answers, now I can't aviod my thoughts anymore, the answers came.  Taking responsibility entails a lot. I stood out side and watch a few people who have decided to take responsibility of their lives which in turn affects the lives of others too, to be  responsible entails the following : HARDWORK :When you decide to take responsibility of something, be sure to take the work attached to it, most of the time its hardwork, even if it's the littlest work to do, as long as you have decided to take responsibility, be assured that it's absolutely hardwork.  SACRIFICE : Hmm, there is no way we can aviod talking about sacrifice, its a whole package, sacrifice...

What more have you to offer other than the following wicked vices: GOSSIP : Many are so much in the business of gossips, all they enjoy doing is gossiping people like its their personal business, if your strength lies in gossiping, then you have to desist from such acts and learn to mind your business.  GRUDGE : This act isn't sexy at all, so many people enjoy this vice alot without knowing they are destroying themselves over a period of time, grudge brings nothing good but backbiting and self pity, trust me, you will gain more when you learn to live freely.  SLANDERING : They are out to insult you, ignore you, backslash you, say all sorts of negative things to you just because they want to pull you down, if you fall in this category of persons, please for the sake of an unknown tomorrow, stop already.  Try and see the good in other people, try to promote good things and learn to appreciate people, situations and timing.  When you wish well for others, good things wo...

The best way to profess love is to show it in all sense of reality,we can preach the ways to love and never express them in fullness. Recently,I saw a video ,where a passing set of University students gifted a janitor in their school with lots of gifts for his service,which he does wholeheartedly,even though he was still paid. The joy the janitor displayed was so tearly that you think he did something personally to each of the students. Again,we lost a young widow who left two children,her death was so painful that we all felt it personally, during her burial service the church raised a substance amount of funds for her children to fall by,this gesture alone shows how we can express love in reality. We should learn to show love through and through even when it's not convenient,it goes to show how humane we could be , humanity is all about feeling someone's pain and personalise it, extend a hand of fellowship and make it' count by bringing smile even in their pai...

We are all created in the same way but wired differently, no one has white or gold blood running through their veins , we all have the same red blood, your color,race and tribe doesn't matter ,we all have the same one head and one body what matters most is that we are all human being created in one image. Life comes with so many issues, everyone is chasing something and some others are being chased, no two persons has the same challenge, it could be similar but yet unique in its own way. Someone's pepper is another's chilly and spice, someone's pains is another's gain,while some cry, others are making a fortune out of it,we all have a story to tell,either good or bad, life issues can either make you nor mare you. Recently, we lost a dear sister over a brife illness,pained as we were ,we wished it wasn't so,yet again some few days, we heard of a young lady who took her own life because she was admonished by her folks to live a scandal free life. Sadly,when I weig...

 A very happy new year of bliss goodness and mercy to us all, may the fears and challenges of the previous year never becloud the hopes of this year. If I go ahead to ask us all what were the lessons learnt on 2024, I am sure we all have bucket full of answers so unending and many are not palatable to tell.  To some it was their worse year, to others it was a good year, even to many it was a year they never wished to come by and to a few it's was the best year so far.  Again, we have started counting to what 2025 would be and so many have made resolutions they will never keep, while others have no plans for the year and  some very few people they want to horn what they have established or possibly keep to what will make the year more beautiful for them.  We all can't have the same goals and agenda for our lives but it's always good we plan ahead and make sure we achieve a better fragment of what we outlined, certainly it might be very difficult to achieve but it...

In our world today there is a lot of unanswered questions and this keeps us wondering and left in massive confusion as to why certain things happen and what is the whole essence of why we are here on earth. As the year beings, we hear strange and so unimaginable things that our minds can't comprehend,seems like our lives is all about being born, live for a while and die and the circle continues. What exactly is the essence of life ,its beyond the circle of ( born, live and die) today they are here and the next moment they are no more, they indulge in so many projects unfinished, while it's still ongoing yet they leave it unattended to and leave without any form of consideration. Actually,our lives belongs to our maker that's the whole essence of why we are here,he decides when we should come and whenever we can return to him, fulfilled or not, we have a  purpose why we are here and when it's time ,the maker calls back to glory. I,t might be very hard to acce...