VIVSRAVINE

Oftentimes,we set unimaginable boundaries in relationships which in last run hurts us and even those close to us. It's so sickening that most relationships is built on selfishness and what I can describe as personal gains. Imagine a marital relationship where one of the partner accuses the other of lying always and because of this he or she magnifys the act and hence holds the other at uptmost fault. Sadly,the same partner who accuses the other is also guilty of cheating but holds his other own sins in high esteem,it's so unacceptable that we now determine which sins is more grave than the other. The phrase which says no one is perfect is not specifically for a set of people, it is for everyone, I hope it sinks and helps us learn how to judge more fairly.. Relationship is about how you treat others ,it should be equal and given in the same feelings jthe measure you give is the same measure you receive ,no sidelining and no gaslighting. I have seen people who complain so much ab...

I have learnt that life doesn't doesn't always give you what you so want badly,you could work your way out and beyond yet it offers you the pains you never wished for. In relating with people no matter the type of relationship you keep with them,always learn to how to set boundaries and never drift from your purpose. Someone once said  and I quote "Anything you lose when you  standup for your self ,protect your boundaries and begin to grow ,was not meant to stay" so hard to accept but a reality that is so meant to stay Don't lose yourself trying to fix people who don't include you in their routines, don't go the mile for someone who doesn't care you exist, don't make sacrifices for people who don't know you also have feelings to protect and nurture. I have seen people lose their sanity their peace of mind and their worth because they got to give their all to people who subject them to nothing for selfish gains  Learn to always place yourself fi...

Leave while you can with your whole self. It's better to stay alive than to be dead in any given relationship. No one is tied to you in marriage, there is no marriage in heaven or hell, hold your mental health and state of mind in tact to know what next to do and take charge of your life. There are so many unbearable stories of toxic relationships, so unheard of, many a time the one you think is the key player in creating chaos in the relationship might just be the one holding the relationship. No one is absolutely tied to another, relationships must come and go, build and break, stay or divide, it's a given fact that must always happen as long as two people are involved, no relationship is made perfect, it's all full of flaws and faults but the commitment levels determines how far you both can go. No one has all what it takes to keep a relationship intact, none is perfect rather what plays out in most relationships is accepting each others flaws and striving to become bett...

  The only time we don't get to make any choice is when we are sleeping, because our brains are also kind of resting and we are not physically active to decide. But we are a product of our choices, whatsoever we chose to do is dependant on the choices we make. We can either chose a good choice or a bad choice, we either enjoy the gains it brings or suffer the consequences of our actions. Often times the worse decisions we made are linked with the choices we made most deliberately and we find it so difficult to retrieve them. It is better to take your time before making any decision that results in hard choices that might affect you later in future. The choice of friends you keep, the choice of partner you marry, the choice of lifestyle you live and the choice of parts you trail are one amongst the determining factor of how your life would turn out. I heard a married woman who complained so bitterly about her marriage and how she wished she was never married in the first...

  Marriage is not a cake or ice cream flavour shared everyday, it has lots of thrones on the roses to present to you both .  You both will have to walk it through every day and be ready to take whatever joys or challenges it brings too.  Each partner has a weakness to manage, you both are humans and not robots.  Marriage is a big leap, you either leap to pains or joy at any given time, yet you must accept it wholeheartedly to manage a sustainable relationship.  Overcome self, brush out selfishness and learn to communicate effectively, if on a scale of 1 to 5 what is your communication level?  Not knowing how to communicate and cope is a big factor in marriage, some partners assume the other is aware, some never speaks, other speaks but in manner not acceptable, while others just chose to act all alone.  Many spouse complains of their partners not providing, if as a man in marriage who has a job or business and you fail to provide for your f...

Some times ,I wonder why we do the things we do,even when we see the end product, citing from other people's experiences.  One would wonder why we indulge in certain unhealthy habits, knowing fully well that such habits won't buy us anything good but pain and vanity,yet we so indulge in them and endanger our lives and even the lives of innocent people around. Recently,I heard a story about a drunk driver who killed an only child of a couple who are very old and feeble,the resultant effect of such incident leaves the innocent in pains for the rest of their lives. Such pain would have been averted if and only if the driver had stopped drinking and driving or better still learnt to control his selfish desires,this singular act cost him a life long jail terms and took the life an only child. Stop taking hard drugs and inhaling bad substances,it's not good for your health, the advert is almost every where,they are advised daily and they have even seen people affected by such,yet...